What started as an entertaining facebook thread around the office has turned into a hilarious soundtrack, a big hairy audacious playlist, if you will. We're going on record here. If you can honestly say you don't own this music already, you can claim we recommended you invest in it. We won't tell.
Okay, we all know how great it is to have an iPod filled with new music. It’s even more rad if it’s filled with the latest underground & indie tunes, right? We all like to think we have our fingers on the pulse.
But on some days, you NEED those guilty pleasures, those embarrassing personal favorites that help you finish your hill intervals. These songs could damage your street cred. These songs are for headphones ONLY. These songs are too low rent to write a blog post abo…ahem.
We say there's no need to be embarrassed, even if these songs are questionable at best. They're so bad, they're good. Without further ado, without any irony, here is our No Shame Workout Playlist.
“Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car” - Billy Ocean
The King of the Caribbean wants to take you on a joyride to Love Town. Just let it happen.
“How Bizarre” - OMC
It’s not a good sign when a brand new song is already generic enough to be played in your dentist’s office.
“Jenny From The Block” - Jennifer Lopez
They just don’t make music like this anymore. Maybe because it shouldn’t have been made in the first place.
“Raise A Little Hell” - Trooper
Hesher alert! If this is on your iPod, might I remind you: it isn’t appropriate to drink light beer in your water bottle.
“Touch It” - Monifah
The person who should feel shameful is Monifah herself – homegirl borrowed my one-armed red pleather mini dress & choker twelve years ago and STILL hasn’t given it back.
“TiK ToK” - Ke$ha
I really want to not like this song. I have tried SO HARD. Anyone have any tips for Ke$ha-itis?
“Changes” - 2pac
Okay, so Tupac is rad. But Tupac sampling BRUCE HORNSBY? Um…um. That’s all I have.
“Don’t Cry For Me Argentina (Remix)” - Madonna
This song is shameful for a few reasons. First of all, it sounds like they scrounged the beat out of the Gipsy King’s trash can. Second of all, the video shows Madonna….acting. And we all know how good that is.
“I Like It” - Enrique Iglesias
This song achieves the dubious honor of being instantly cheesy. Congratulations Enrique!
“Livin’ It Up” - Ja Rule
If you are rocking out to this on your morning run, do yourself a favor and take a hard look in the mirror when you get home.
“Baby” - Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris
Does Ludacris need to make a mortgage payment? I mean really!
“Chattahoochee” - Alan Jackson
Before you start judging – can YOU waterski in cowboy boots? I didn’t think so.
“Opposites Attract” - Paula Abdul
In the video for this song, Paula gets freaky with an animated cat. My question is, how did this happen? Did a bunch of suits sit around and go, “Paula grinding with a cartoon kitty. I like it….GREEN LIGHT!” Terrifying.
“We Didn’t Start The Fire” - Billy Joel
Ahhh, the Piano Man. You know how some music sound timeless, even 25 years later? This isn’t one of those songs.
“Cradle of Love” - Billy Idol
Another Billy. Another no-shame song. Mental note to self: do not name son ‘William.’
“Xanadu” - Olivia Newton-John
Little Miss Grease Lightning literally comes to life FROM A MURAL and rollerskates her way into an artist’s heart. You can’t make this stuff up.
“Over & Over Again” - Nelly & Tim McGraw
If this is your cool down song post-run, we can’t be friends anymore. Final answer.
- Set big hairy audacious goals to go with your new playlist. Have no shame. Go big.
- Want to look the part? Be bold prints and colours.
- Need to take it down a notch? Bring your yoga practice inside with this playlist.
- Having trouble finding time to use these playlists? We'll help.
We know you have more songs you'd add to this list. The lines are open. Fess up.