“Let your life be your message” – Gandhi
At my 2012 breathe New Year’s Day Benefit Class, I promised myself and my students that I would let my life be my message...
There are moments that I am an absolute mess. Really.
A few years ago, I decided to get divorced. I was living in Dallas with a very nice man, in a very nice house. I had a very nice job and a very nice place to practice and teach Yoga. I had very, very nice friends and the weather, for the most part, was always very nice. All in all, it was very, nice and I probably could have continued on that way for a very, very long time. But, Love had other plans for me.
And in one moment, just one single breath, Love decided that my very nice life needed a little passion, a little reminder...
I met the man I am married to now in the 7th grade. I was totally and absolutely and utterly and decisively in love with him. There are details, many moments, many factors, many decisions between 1988 and the day I saw him again 20 years later. And as much as they matter, because they do, what truly matters is...
I need you to know that it was just like a movie. I need you to know that, in a moment, a breath, I saw his (literally) across the room and (exhale) I was 13 again. We laughed, we talked, we smiled and we remembered. But the timing wasn’t right. It really wasn’t. So, I went back to my very nice life and he went back to his and we tried to forget.
Love, however, had very different plans and it wasn’t about to be silenced, not this time. This time, I listened, intently. I let myself acknowledge that my very nice, neat life was, well.. not enough for me. It’s okay to say that you know. It’s also okay to trade in organized and nice and tidy for muddled and fiery and messy. And so, 25 years after I met Tom Denman, I married my very best friend.
And those moments, where I am an absolute mess, are my most vulnerable and tangled moments. They are moments that I truly want, moments I worked hard to live in the middle of, moments I wouldn’t trade out for anything in this world and moments that hold up a mirror to my imperfections and moments that, one breath at a time, have shown me the absolute power of forgiveness, honestly, compassion and Love.
I want you to know that for me, this is Yoga. Yoga is being in the middle of a challenging pose and breathing a mindful, deep inhale and exhale. It is falling out of a balance, that this dancer should be able to hold, and laugh. It is dropping down to my knees in Plank because I have accepted my limitations, it is relaxing my jaw in (ugh) Chair and it is leaning into Crow even though I might tumble forward.
I hope you will join me on the mat. You can, of course, bring your water bottle and towel and block and Yoga strap; but I would really like you to bring your vulnerability and then, when class is done and someone asks you about it, please let your life (your practice) be your message.
* Yoga Fit Level I
* American Power Yoga (Dallas, TX) 200 Hour Power Yoga Teacher Training
* Baptiste Level I